so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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