ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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