we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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