Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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