he thought i was a dude.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
