yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
