i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
