it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
