it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Houston, we have a squirter
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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