Soap is not a condiment
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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