garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
