That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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