My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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