Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
