in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
