walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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