i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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