I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
