i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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