the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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