Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
