No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
