Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
