i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
