i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
