Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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