I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Randomize
