I skipped work to stalk him.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
