I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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