check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
