so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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