how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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