I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My vagina is very pro this idea
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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