i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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