I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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