Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
