yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
