i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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