i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
