Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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