i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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