i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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