Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
