Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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