we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
