I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
