wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
