Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
