So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Randomize
