in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
