Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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