I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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