do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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