I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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