I need help removing her.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
