I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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