I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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